27 May 2014

The beginning again...

Hello from my writing desk... it's tea time... thank goodness.

Well hello there,

Welcome to my little bloggy-journally-spill my guts blog. It's really different to my other blog The Squee because here I just talk about me me me...totes self indulgent right? :)

Yelka will also be posting so stay tuned for her no doubt wonderful posts too.

I'm really trying hard to be positive at the moment because there are so many good things happening and lots of opportunities to express creativity and connect with people. It's really nice.

Despite these good things I can't ignore that I have been steadily gaining weight over the last three years since I gave birth to my little man and I really don't feel good. I medicate myself, my feelings and stress with food and I have completely lost the knack of knowing when to stop and how not to eat when I am not hungry.

This frustrates me no end because only four years ago I was at my fittest and healthiest and was helping other people to reach their own fitness goals. I wonder if I knew deep down that I wouldn't be able to maintain the weight that I had lost? Maybe... or maybe not. I couldn't know could I?

I need to figure out the WHY of my behaviour. Why does food comfort me? Why do I eat when I'm not hungry? Why do I eat in secret? What's it all about? How will I feel if i don't turn to food?

Some of that work will probably happen here.

I haven't weighed myself in a long time as we made a decision to get rid of the scales because we could hear our girls using them all the time (it beeped) and we didn't want them becoming fixated on how much they weigh. They are both healthy and active and within a healthy weight range so we thought the best option would be to remove them. I still maintain that this was a good choice but it also makes it more difficult for me to monitor my progress and I will need to find a way around it. Maybe weighing at the chemist? Or maybe if I can eventually afford a gym membership I'll do it there.

I estimate that I am about 112kg right now but will confirm that when I can get to some scales. I will also take some measurements and photos over the next week. I will probably eventually post them here but not until I have some progress pics to compare them to.

I know I can do this. I've done it before and while it seems so hard right now, it will get easier. It just will.

My plan of action is this:

Monday to Friday I aim for about 1500 calories a day and on the weekends a little more depending on what I'm doing. I plan to include more fresh veggies and salads and less processed food, sweet things and bread - but these things are not outlawed.. just limited. I am using the My Fitness Pal app to keep track of my food and exercise.

I am going to get my exercise plan from Kate at Operation Move* really soon but I know it will include three sessions per week. Due to my busy life, for now my exercise will occur on Thursday afternoons while Richie is at kinder and on the weekend when John is home. I need to keep it as simple as possible or it will all become overwhelming and I won't want to do any of it.

So here we are... Day one of tracking with the app. No veggies yet but I'll have some for arvo tea and I'm going to have a big salad for dinner.

It's nice to know I'm not going to feel this crap forever.

*Operation Move is a fabulous fitness program that I am participating in for free in exchange for me chatting about it on the blog. Good deal huh!?

24 May 2014

Hey there!

Well hello there!

My name is Ashley and I live in Melbourne's west in the buzzing multicultural hub of Footscray. I am a writer, a student, a mother, a Social Worker, a crafter, a cook, a blogger, a wifey, a lover of the garden and of community.

I have had a tumultuous relationship with food and the bathroom scales and have ridden the roller-coaster of weight loss- weight gain- weight loss -weight gain for far too long. I am looking for a life long solution and I want to start today!

I am in love with chocolate and cheese... and bread with peanut butter. Unfortunately, my body doesn't like those things very much and as someone who has polycystic ovaries and who is very close to having the syndrome if I don't get this under control, I really want to create long term habits that are actually good for me.

I don't believe in starvation, severe restrictions, extreme exercise regimes, self hatered, negative self talk or other kooky shit. I do believe that I can lose weight and get fit in a way that is good for my mental health as well as my physical health.

I want to find my mob! My cheer squad! People in the same boat to me and who also want to get fit and healthy without getting all crazy about it. Is that you? Yes?? Well please say HI!!